It's here

My final week in Hawaii is upon me and I have no idea what to think about that. About 15 months ago I would have swore to you that I would be beyond ecstatic to be getting out of here. Right now though, I'm a little bit of everything. Now don't get me wrong, I am very excited to be getting out of here. I'm ready to be back home with friends, family, and pets. I'm ready for the corn fields, the smell of fall, and even the snow. I'm ready to not miss every big event in the lives of those I love and I'm ready to be back in a place that I know by heart. At the same time though, I'm going to miss seeing the ocean and the Mountains. I'll miss being able to jump in the car and be at the beach in 10 minutes or swimming after Thanksgiving lunch haha I'll miss the beauty of this place, but that's pretty much it. There's a very small number of people here that I will miss, and I do mean VERY small. I really will miss them though, probably more than I even realize at this point. Other than those things, Hawaii has no hold on me. I don't feel at home here and I don't feel relaxed. I feel out of place for the most part. Mixed in with the excitement and the slight sadness is the stress and worry. Neither one of us have solid jobs lined up and that scares me. I know we've done a decent job of saving and we'll be ok for awhile, but it still makes me nervous.

So what's next for us? Well when we get that figured out I will let you know! haha Right now there are lots of plans and ideas. We do have a place to live and if you don't know where that is feel free to ask and I'll tell you privately. We get to experience the joy of combining ALL my stuff, his stuff, and our stuff 16 months after the wedding. haha It could get interesting! Payton wants to be a police officer and plans to use his G.I Bill to get a Criminal Justice degree. He'll be working on figuring out the best way to do all that, as well as looking for work until then. I want to do anything that lets me use my degree. I need to feel like that huge chunk of money being sent out each month for school bills isn't going to waste. Right now I honestly can't tell anyone "go to college, a degree will really benefit you" because it hasn't done a thing for me so far in this job search. I'm sure things will work out, but this girl is loosing her patience! There are kids in the future(Lord willing). It will be awhile though. It would be beyond irresponsible for us to go down that road until we have jobs and insurance. So for those of you that keep asking (or want to ask), just be patient, ok? I promise you, babies our in our plans! ;) However, there will be "fur babies" in the very near future!! lol I spent the first 22 years of my life with at least one animal around, these past 15 months without one has made me realize just how much I love them! What's our first animal of choice? A gerbil! The plan is to get two actually, because they are happier with a playmate. Their names will be Rhino and Edward. Don't judge! :-P Other than that, we just have to wait and see what God has planned. All we know is we're going to be back where we belong, surrounded by family and friends and we can't wait!

"Well, I'm going home, back to the place where I belong
And where your love has always been enough for me
I'm not running from, no, I think you got me all wrong
I don't regret this life I chose for me
But these places and these faces are getting old
So I'm going home"
(Daughtry-Home)

"I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again

Lucky we're in love in every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday"
(Jason Mraz/Colbie Caillat- Lucky)