It's been awhile since my last post! At the time I was still in Hawaii and about to come back home. Now we've been home for 7 months. When I wrote my last blog I honestly never dreamed we'd be where we are right now. I thought for sure we'd both be working full time jobs with a little one on the way....boy was I wrong.
I'd love to write to you about how sure I am that God will provide and how I'm at peace about it. That would be a huge lie though. Do I want to be that way? Absolutely! Do I trust that God knows what He's doing and we'll provide? Of course! Do I still have my doubts? Yup...sadly. I don't really know how I can believe and doubt at the same time but I do. I don't go about my day being stressed and scared about the future, but in those quiet moments before falling asleep my mind starts going there. If I'm going to be perfectly honest, I'm just plain scared at this point. I really am.
Besides the fear there is the frustration of being "stuck". We can't make any plans because we have no idea what kind of schedules we will have when we eventually get jobs. We can't do anything because we have to save every penny and make what money we have last. We can't start a family because we have no jobs or insurance and that would be STUPID.(So please stop asking....)
Regardless of all that, we are enjoying being back home. Ash is growing like crazy and is now a furry 12 lbs! He's a very tall/long cat and he fills a little bit of that baby void. We're both very glad that we got him instead of a gerbil! :) Payton and I have started playing badminton in the backyard on a (somewhat) regular basis. It's pretty good exercise and we have a lot of fun with it. It's also a great way to get outside and not sit in front of the TV watching Netflix for hours. (By the way, I don't know who came up with Netflix, but he/she is my hero! $10 a month for all the TV shows and movies I can watch? Amazing.)
I promise a happier post sometime soon. Guess I'm just feeling a bit burdened tonight.
Have a wonderful weekend!
I'm too lazy to log onto my never used username, lol. Everything happens for a reason and it will all work out in the end! I love netflix, too! No cable=saving money with just paying the netflix bill plus internet bill, lol. I hope you find a job soon. Something will turn up! As far as the baby... when you are settled and things are put in order it will work out. You have PLENTY of time to work on adding to your family. :p I'm almost 27 and in no rush to have babies and I know you want some asap but don't rush it. Do what you are doing now. It will be worth it in the long run to do what you are doing now by being SMART unlike a lot of people I know who have babies and cannot provide for them. I cannot believe it has been 7 months already. Crazy!
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